Doing More of Nothing

cupcake princesses

We are still finishing up the basement, just a final coat of paint for the ceiling and walls, then my honey will rebuild the stairs for my anniversary present, very romantic I know. All these projects. I love the sense of accomplishment it brings, but at the end of a hard days work, my old days of philosophy classes have come back to haunt me, specifically the discussions on the elemental principles of essence and being, matter and form (still getting mileage out of that degree).

Isaac's nap time

All this work on material things is exhausting. “The more you have. The more it has you.” they say. Material things require maintenance. Heck our spiritual lives require maintenance. Is there anything out there that doesn’t require, demand, request anything of me? I need more time in the adoration chapel just being quiet and not doing anything. The soil is parched. The vine needs water.

baby love

Every year at my husband’s family reunion people go around the room and share what they’ve done in the last year. I dread it for a number of reasons. First, because I detest being the center of attention and loath public speaking. Second, there’s too many peanuts in the peanut gallery who love to interrupt and interject at every pause. This can be very frustrating if you are hesitant to speak up in the first place. Thirdly and more importantly here, I feel pressure to “do something extraordinary” with my life when the reality of it all is my life is very, very ordinary. Don’t get me wrong, I feel fulfilled at home with my kids, but what I need most is quality, not quantity. The focus can get stuck on the doing and not the being. Please Lord, help me throw the bucket list in the bucket.

My reality, my day in and day out is filled with very small but important tasks. These aren’t so amazing to the average twenty-something. In fact, in our hedonistic (maximize pleasure), individualistic (It’s all about me.) culture, my lifestyle seems a poor choice indeed.

“The Hand That Rocks The Cradle Is The Hand That Rules The World ” -William Ross Wallace.

The other day my other stay-at-home moms talked about being in crisis mode and just trying to keep their heads above water. Yes, this has been a theme on this blog and probably thousands of mommy blogs out there. It occurred to me that I need a change of perspective. Tired of doing the doggy paddle, actively striving to stay above water perhaps I need to turn myself around, look up to heaven and just float a bit.

snow going

Is this what the mystics referred to as meditation? Is this how Mother Teresa got through her days serving the poor and needy? Just floating in a spiritual sense? What does that look like for a stay-at-home mom? No more projects? That doesn’t make sense. We are called to bring order out of the chaos.

Perhaps for me it is being more disciplined in taking time to do nothing and fight the notion that I am “wasting” time. My day, week, month, life is not wasted if I didn’t check off all my bucket list items. I don’t have to visit all seven continents, play ten instruments, own a yacht, be listed in the Who’s Who of the World book to live a meaningful life. In fact, living a meaningful life could be as easy as being at peace and loving those around me. To do that I’ll need to order more of nothing and just float a bit.

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